This picture is the inspiration I needed to be motivated to post. Time keeps passing and I was beginning to lose myself it in....losing track of why I am here...why I enjoy serving......and why I applied in the first place.
I had a similar reflexion in middle school when a good friend passed. She was full of energy and loved the quote "carpe diem". I remember thinking that I would honor my friend, and those whose life were taken without a just cause, by living my life to the fullest.
Sometimes I find myself confused in this PC experience. Doubts run in and out of my head, questions pop up often, and answers seem to be idealistic.
But this message reminds me that it's ok to be confused.... What is most important is that I am doing what I love...what I dreamed of...what is my passion...what opens me up to new experiences..what challenges my ideas to form new ones. It reminds that this experience is more about the people and the shared experiences we now have....that sometimes success doesn't need to be measured....sometimes what we need most is to LIVE.
Life is short. This experience it turning out to be short. My 27 months of service have been reduced to 16. For a long time, I was looking for my niche in site...I'm still not sure if I have found it, but I am clear on one thing.....I have found a new place to call home.
My work here continues to grow and with this comes the formation of many more relationships. Some relationships are simple...."bye teacher" is what I'll hear when passing in the halls or running into each other in town....other relationships are complex...leaving unanswered questions and tears after they decide to runaway, probably to never see them again. In one way or another, all of these relationships have given me a new found sense of belonging. PC calls it "community integration" but I come to find this connections is deeper than the phrase embodies.
For many PCVs, this sense of belonging will give them the inspiration that gets lost in the "PC roller coaster". For me, this sense of belonging brings a new sense of urgency to the work that I do. The faces of the people I work with/for, bring a sense of determination. Beyond it all, it is the possibility of creating bigger/better things together that give me the energy to continue challenging myself in this experience.
So what has been my experience in the last month or so? The closings of schools, for the (finally over teacher strike), gave me the time to help out with a dental brigade from the Univ. of Conn. I was able to help run logistics (bc you know I love this sort of thing ;P ) and show the team of 22 around town. They worked hard and saw over 300 students/family members from the community, worked on ~100 patients, took out more teeth than I ever imagined and filled as many cavities as they could handle. The population they worked on included people from the mountain side (that walked over 3 hours to the center), students from a newly build tuition-free bilingual university, special needs students from a local orphanage, and perhaps some of the neediest from our community.
My TEAM class of 40+ teachers continues strong. Their attendance was still at 100% even during some of the toughest days of the strikes. I am so proud of this group of teachers for their dedication to our class. I wish I could share their animal "longest-book-ever" projects....they are awesome!
My work with the Casa Hogar girls continues. Our most recent loss, just this past Tuesday, was the running away of one of the girls. She arrived at the Casa Hogar after having some rough moments at a local orphanage. She's full of energy, very creative, and can express herself beautifully. Lately, she had been speaking up about not fitting in with the other girls. She's always had a strong independent side. She expressed her concerns and wishes to the director and admin personnel the night before. No one ever expected her to run away. This experience is another that helped me realize one reason for why I am here....to help bring hope to the youth that have lost it...to help them realize that they have positive choices in their life....and people that want to support them in making these decisions.
Work at the ENCA is back in session....the students had two weeks of instruction prior to Spring Break and are in a week of instruction now. Their midterm exams are next week. In short, teachers are trying to have students cram over a month of content before the exam. How anyone justifies this is unclear to me.
My work with the after school program at the local orphanage is taking a turn. The orphanage is largely funded through donors from the States. The economic situation back home is negatively impacting the donations received locally. In addition, the local government recently passed new labor laws raising the minimum wages. The director was forced to cut back on personnel and has asked the teachers of the after school program to convert to part-time employees. In short, this will mean they lose their unemployment insurance and take a small pay cut. I am hopeful most of the teachers will remain on board.
Earlier I mentioned Spring Break, which is actually Semana Santa (Holy Week) here. My site is considered the most religious in the country and is considered one of the most cultural too. Combine these two elements and you get a week full of religious processions and services. The city was filled with tourists Thurs.-Sat. for the making/viewing of the "alfombras" (carpets made of colored sawdust depicting mostly religious images).
I hosted most of the H17 Youth Development volunteers...they came and went throughout the week...at most we had 10 people sleeping in my studio apartment. We ended up spending a day at the pool of a local hotel, taking a day trip to the Pulhapanzak waterfall (the largest of Honduras), lounging around town, checking out the VERY crowded waterpark, and checking out the processions/alfombras.
I was one of the most interested in the city's religious/cultural activities (a bit disappointing). The alfombra making started Holy Thursday after the 10pm procession with the reenactment of the "encuentro" (meeting). Only three of us tried staying up all night to watch the alfombras come to life....we ended up walking a bit, popping into the club and dancing a bit, then continuing down the alfombra path. The whole group was back out the next morning to check out the completed alfombras....again only three of us were interested in walking along with the procession. We stuck it through and participated in the trampling over the alfombras...you see the whole purpose for creating an alfombra is so that the procession can walk over it, bless the sawdust that was used, and bringing the creators "bondad" (goodness) the rest of the year. One of my favorite moments from the procession was when a boy gave me his collection of colored sawdust he was saving in a small glass jar. I made small talk and mentioned that I was going to start my own collection. We ran into each other later...and to my surprise he offered me his collection. I tried denying it at first because I knew he was probably hoping to take it home for good luck...but he insisted. What a sweetheart!
These are the stories that keep me here...
So what made me serve in the first place. My parents taught me to work hard at helping others who are less fortunate. I remember dreaming of joining the Peace Corps as a little girl. I think I first heard about the program from a friend. I knew I wanted to help others and add my bit to world development. I started my first application to PC my senior year in college. At the same time, I started my application to Teach For America. I decided to go into teaching first because I knew I would be a more competitive applicant with a refined skill. Plus, I had promised myself to dedicate part of my life to teaching in honor of the great teachers in my life. I decided to push back the PC application. After completing my TFA service, I stayed an extra year in hopes of completing my credential; however, things got complicated and I was laid off twice. As a result, I was unemployed for 6 months where I had plenty of time to reflect on my next path in life. PC was calling me...lol. I finished my application and within days I had my potential assignment. A few months later, I was arriving in Honduras as a Youth Development volunteer. :)
